When I was 11 or so I was walking down a dirt driveway and unexpectedly encountered a copperhead snake only a few feet in front of me. As it saw me it drew back in preparation to attack. I ran back as fast as I could to get away from it. I will never forget that. After that experience I never liked snakes and whenever I would see one my chest would tighten and my heart would race. I know that painful learned experience caused my brain to make the connection that snakes are a threat to me. Sure, I still go outside, hiking, walking my dogs, and other outdoor activities without avoiding the possibility of seeing snakes. However, I admittedly look ahead whenever I am walking near woods and closely look at sticks to make sure some slimy-looking serpent doesn’t pop out at me.
Anxiety serves a purpose for us. It allows us to flee quickly in the face of imminent danger or fight off a threat. A REAL threat, in the moment. When we have a painful learning experience like any of the above our brain makes associations and starts to sound the fire alarm when we face anything that reminds us of or resembles the feared situation. It causes a fight/flight/freeze response in our nervous system which results in rapid heartrate, shallow and rapid breathing, increased blood pressure, sweating, muscle tension and/or shaking and other symptoms.
The problem we run into is when our brain perceives a threat when there is no true threat. The fire alarm goes off but there is no actual fire. Maybe there is just some toast that is overcooked, or faulty wiring. It no longer serves a purpose and interferes in our lives. We avoid activities that we might otherwise enjoy, we miss out on meaningful social connections, and experience unnecessary distress.
So what can you do about it? First, start to learn the difference between an actual threat in the here and now vs. a perceived threat. For instance, if you see a spider web it doesn’t mean a venomous spider is on you and biting you. It is a spider web. Being near a rosebush is not a threat just because there might be bees. Even having bees a few feet away from you is NOT a threat. They are not actually stinging you.
Don’t give your anxiety more power. I always compare anxiety to a bully. What happens if you walk by someone who is bullying you in a hallway and stop and engage with him/her? It intensifies the situation. Same with anxiety. Don’t let yourself fall for the lies and exaggerations. I even encourage you to take your anxiety bully less seriously. Call it a name. Talk back to it. Even invite it to walk with you. For instance, saying things like “Is that all you got?! Come-on! Come walk with me and try to break me down, I am up for this!”
Additionally, try leaning into discomfort. Seek it out. For instance, despite my dislike of snakes I was able to challenge myself and pet a few pythons at a reptile exhibit. I would do it again. Face your fears when you can. This might look like sitting outside a few feet from a flower bed. Watching videos of bridges if you are afraid of them. Saying hello to someone on the street as a start to facing your social anxiety. The less we fight the anxiety, run from it or freeze we are taking the power away from it.
Don’t lose hope if you are one of the many people struggling with anxiety. Through therapy and techniques such as the above you have the amazing ability to change your brain, as evidenced by brain imaging! Start by thinking about your own anxiety in the above ways and this will help you feel more in control and work toward silencing those false alarms.
